Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Psychoanalyzing Peace Protesters headline: "Hundreds Are Arrested as Protests Escalate"

Scene: A psychiatrist's office in Manhattan

Patient: Please tell me, Dr. Spielvogel, why do I become so violent when I protest for peace?

Shrink: Vy not? Unlike zose against whom you protest, you haff no responsibility for defending ze nation. You are venting your feelings of powerlessness.

Patient: But vy -- why -- do I become violent when I vent?

Shrink: Vell, ven you vere an adolescent, and you rebelled against your parents, you had to do it by nonviolent means because you depended on zem for your bed and board.

Patient: So, you think I'm really acting out my adolescent rebellion against my parents?

Shrink: Vell, zince you are only capable of shouting mindless slogans -- ven you aren't doing zomesing violent -- it is clear to me zat you haven't advanced beyond adolescence. In fact, I sink you have regressed into childhood.

Patient: I'm not going to take this lying down.

Shrink: Lying down, zitting up, makes no difference to me. Zat will be $200. And no protesting or I'll cut off your prescription of Thorazine. Next patient...

Al Franken -- leftwing nutjob, alleged comedian, and front man for Error America -- sharing his wit and wisdom with a political opponent, at the Republican National Convention.