Friday, March 21, 2008

Stuff White (Liberal Yuppie) People Like

Here. Funny, if self-administered in small doses.

Of course, I may be the last person to have found it. But, unlike white-liberal-yuppie persons, being au courant isn't "where I'm at" (to use an expression that's probably no longer au courant).

P.S. Suggested additions to the list:
  • Foreign films (Especially if incomprehensible and/or about angst, suffering, etc.)
  • Dressing casually (Especially at fine restaurants. It's a fetish -- like wearing shorts regardless of the temperature.)
  • Public schools (For other people's children.)
  • Public universities (Très gauche, even if you attended one.)
  • Cheese (As in, "I found this wonderful little cheese store.")
  • Handymen (As in, "I found this wonderful little handyman." Who's probably not white. But "little" isn't racist, is it?)
  • Charity auctions (For buying ugly stuff and feeling good about it.)
  • Celebrities (Okay, if they're adopting half of China. But Angelina Jolie's counsel to "stay the course" in Iraq makes one wonder.)
  • Europe (Such a civilized place -- if you overlook economic stagnation, unemployment, rioting Muslims, and the tendency to turn to the U.S. when in danger.)
  • Britain (Ditto, with smashing accents.)
  • Social Security (Good for "little" people.)
  • Medicare (Ditto, but avoid doctors who accept Medicare patients.)
  • Drug companies (Hate 'em. Where are my tranqs, anyway?)
  • Brand-name products of a superior kind (Très important, as long as they signify good taste -- in an understated way, of course, and not in a way which suggests that one is uncaring about the "little" people who made them.)
  • Urban compression (The opposite of "urban sprawl." Also known as cities: dirty, smelly, crowded, crime-ridden, architecturally chaotic places that, for some reason, "deserve to be saved." But why, and at whose expense?)
More to come, p'haps.